Conference I

"You know what I'd like to do", he said. "I'd like to grow my beard and hair long like yours, get on a Harley and just ride across Australia. That's what I'd like to do".

"Nah", I replied. "You don't want the long hair. Riding with long hair will just end up in a bloody awful tangled mess. The bikers I know all have short hair for a reason".

He was short and completely bald. A salesman interested in selling me his product. So far his sales pitch wasn't doing well so he thought he would try another gambit.

"So", he said. "Do you know any hot Asian chickyboos?".

I was fairly stunned by this opener and could only mouth mindlessly back, "errrr,... ahh... what?". He took this to mean that I was interested and launched full throttle into details of his relationships with a number of "hot Asian chickyboos" (a term he used freely through out the ensuing spiel), of which I gathered he had several on the go: one in Australia, one in Auckland, and possibly one near where the conference we were attending was being held.

I have seen him a number of times during the past couple of days and it seems that I am his best mate. I have started eyeballing my way through the throngs, planning my route to avoid him should I spot him up ahead.

I don't think he is going to make a sale.